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Friday, March 8, 2013

My Wife, her 'bonus' Myeloma and Me.

Happy is to retire and plan a new beginning. No more waking up early and the drudgery of routine going to work.

Retirement, is always admired by many, envious of a more carefree life with no demand.

Never in my wife Judy's retirement dreams did she believe she would acquire another 'bonus!' She contacted Myeloma, a form of cancer of the bone marrow.  And it is a 'bonus' to her spinal cord. Her Myeloma attacks her spine's bone marrow.

I saw signs of my wife Judy's health deteriorating even before her retirement...She lost considerably on her weight which many of us noticed. That was in 2010. I was worried , so were both our daughter and son. We encouraged Judy to consult a GP why she kept on losing weight..but was referred to see a specialist when wife complained the symptoms of discomfort and pain in her back.

Many tests followed and finally the 'bad bonus' was confirmed and announced...wife Judy was and is suffering from Myeloma.. That was two years ago....

How our family took the news? How I took the news? Well, life's destiny is not for us to decide...Our children took it without much 'fun-fare'.  Acceptance is the beginning  of cure. My wife Judy took the news with foregoing though a little disbelief and sad. i was sadder though.

And did our lives change much with wife's sickness?...If it did, I did not notice it except that wife became more tense and a little short temper. Hence, apart from the medication and liquid chemo injection, especially the injection to the spine...(it was and is sheer agony.) I feel for her and have been trying my best to liken her sufferings with moral support.

For a start, she cannot do any heavy housework. How our lives changed with a wife who had been the 'housemaid' for us all along..Had we  not took things for granted? Now we know the difference of a wife who keeps the house clean...I try to do my best on the heavy chores like mopping. But was never too successful. We decided to employ a part time maid to come in once a week to clean and mop the home.

Life moves on for  worst or for better...Today as I am writing, wife Judy is already living with her Myeloma for 2 over years and with medication and injection, seems none the worst, rather surprising! But the catch is...this form of cancer, doctors gave her a seven year lifespan.No cure.

There is an alternative to prolong lifespan, that is stem cell transplant...but then according to the doctor, is still a 50:50 chance of success. Wife is still on medication and injection..And one injection caused about $1800 for nine cycles (wife had completed the cycle already)..Medication in the form of pills (about 8 kinds) is cheaper at $600/- per month.

Life moves on. Nothing seems amiss. I believe that acceptance of one's predicament and condition is how things can always look brighter in the darkness of one's life...Wife Judy is coping well with her sickness  and maintained a very positive attitude of what come may.

I was sad, I am sad, but I never question God why such things can befall on us, on my wife. There is no justice to question Providence. Disaster can strike anyone. It just happened that the 'bonus' is on us, on wife Judy. I love her more to face her illness without so much as to resign to her fate but she defiantly fought on with her positive disposition.  I believe, it is a battle won by her. I love and admire her strong courage.

Presently, wife Judy can go marketing alone, i used to accompanied her to Saturday's marketing. Now she refused my company to make a point that she is just like normal. I quietly sing a song for her!

Our life did not change much but the bonding of the spiritual well-being is that searching into our hearts. We feel at peace and harmony with the cosmic exuberance of our existence, of Judy's existence.

Life is as normal as no one can realize, until I decided to blog it for sharing.

I believe as long as we are able to come to terms with our life, of any misfortune..we can stay happy in the eyes of adversity.

Wife Judy is coping well. I am acting as a pillar of support with daughter and son and grand daughter. We live not by counting the days, we live by the moments of moments of love and togetherness, of strong family bond and cohesion. We would have lived a fulfilled and meaningful life even in death's claws.
Happiness knows no bound. Love makes the world goes round, kinship brings about the cohesiveness of a family in whatever predicament of fate.

Fate is dreadful. Destiny is without mercy. Human life of love and understanding the odds go beyond all that. And that is the reason my family is coping so well with my beloved wife's illness..We are not counting the days or years the doctor delivered that verdict of how long wife will live ..For doctors are not God. And I believe god is in our hearts to live the life the way we want to.

In as much as I was afflicted with glaucoma then and my predicaments that follow and how I came to terms with my glaucoma in my earlier blog too.  In comparison, it pales if looking at wife Judy's Myeloma sickness..I cannot even hold a candle to my beloved Judy...

We look upon Buddha for the blessings and we may live well and happy.

Life goes on for a miracle to come a knocking, but no miracle is stronger than a sincere happy good .heart.

patrick lee song juan